I would like to first apologize for not being able to post the last two days. I signed up for the Diabetes Blog Week #DBlogweek with full intentions of posting every day. Monday morning I was sitting at my lap top about to begin writing Monday’s blog when I heard a crash so I went to investigate. Without getting into details I ended up taking my wife to the hospital. She is ok now but it kind of took precedence over blogging.
Well now it is Wednesday and here I am. I will post what I would have posted on Monday and Tuesday this weekend but today I’m going to stick to the topic of the day, “The Blame Game”.
Over the years I really haven’t experienced very much finger pointing at me as far as my diabetes goes. I have absolutely experienced and still do, a lot of well-meaning people say things out of ignorance about what I need to do at any given moment but blaming me for having diabetes or for having high sugar levels, not so much. I guess I’m lucky that way with one exception. That would be my primary care doctor, sort of.
I am not the type that as a rule allows what other people say to me to bother me on a personal level. It’s not that I don’t care it’s more that I know that everyone has their own thoughts and opinions but that doesn’t mean they are right. So it doesn’t bother me when people are pointing fingers. I take it with a grain of salt. With that said, I have this primary care doctor who I go see basically to get refills for prescriptions other doctors (specialists) have prescribed for me. Now what he says to me in the examination room doesn’t bother me. It’s what happens after.
I recently went to see him less than two weeks ago. Every time I see him about a week later I get in the mail a summary of the visit. And it always says under the reason for visit and assessed problems sub section the following:
- Coronary Artery Disease
- Diabetes Mellitus with neurological manifestations, uncontrolled
- Diabetic Neuropathy
- Long term insulin use
- Noncompliance with treatment
Well I take issue with this section as I don’t feel it is accurate. Now remember this all falls under the “Reasons For Visit & Assessed Problems” section.
Line One, Coronary Artery Disease: Other than getting my heart med refills I do not go to him for my heart issues. I have two specialists I see for that. So why is this here?
Line Two: I get the neurological manifestations part but the “uncontrolled” part kind of bugs me. Yes, I have been having issues as of late but it is not for my lack of trying but instead an issue of conflicting medications and other factors.
Line Three: Diabetic Neuropathy. Isn’t that what line two says?
Line Four: Long term Insulin Use. Is this an assessed problem? That is where this line is on the summary. This being here makes me feel like I am doing something wrong by using insulin. It might as well say Long Term Heroin Use because that about how it makes me feel. Last time I checked, I kind of don’t have a choice. Taking insulin for me is a given and unless they come up with a cure for diabetes it is something I will be doing for the rest of my life …. Also he doesn’t write my script for insulin. I have a diabetes specialist for that. So why is this even here?
Line Five: Noncompliance with treatment. Maybe I am being petty but this line bugs me the most of all. It bugs me because I try very hard to take care of my diabetes. The problem is not noncompliance but more that I have other medical issues which interfere with my ability to keep my sugar levels in check at all times. Over the last couple of years I have been prescribed medications for other issues that directly interfere with my glucose levels in both directions. I have had to stop taking meds and get new ones prescribed for this reason. Noncompliance suggests that I am making choices not to take care of myself. So this kind of angers me a bit and it also suggests that he feels I am to blame. For the record. I and nobody with diabetes is to blame for having diabetes. It is not something that anyone wishes they could suffer from. Also as far as what a person is responsible for as far as treatment goes, a person only needs to give it their best effort. Nobody can ask for more than that and that is all anyone can do. And that is what I do. I always try to keep things under control. It just doesn’t always work out that way but it is certainly not a noncompliance issue.
There are things that should be on this little list but aren’t. It really does make me wonder about the purpose of this summary. Is it really a summary of what they are billing me for?
So there you have it. The written word bugs far more than someone standing in front of me blaming me for something. Not sure what that says about me. It’s just the way it is.
As far as the second part of today’s topic. I don’t think I would want to turn him into puppet and make him say want I want to hear. It’s not really what he says that bugs me it is the damn letter I get a week later that bugs me. With that said it might be nice if he would just acknowledge that I am trying. I’m not noncomplying! That there are other issues going on. Although he is not the one prescribing all my meds for me he definitely knows that I am on them and he knows what they are for. After all he is the one that sends in the refills for them.
The more I write here the more I believe I am going to question him on all this next time I see him. Might be the healthy thing for me to do and maybe the next letter will be different.